Crap On Air….

Call me old school or plain archaic but gone are the days when the Radio was considered a pleasant companion for a rainy day or a cool evening.  Songs played on it had become tender parts of our memories that would gush back everytime we’d hear those songs.  The moonlit night when mom fed us morsels of delicious food with her hands while Rafi crooned on the “Bhule Bisre geeth”, the early morning MS Suprabhata that woke us up to our school, or the tantalizing “Sweety Nanna Jodi” with Illayaraja’s score, every program had a small note of reminder attached to it, that’d make us rush to increase the volume of the radio or adjust the antenna for better reception.  Time indeed stood still.

So what has changed you may ask? It is certainly not that the Idiot Box has replaced the faithful dog and the gramaphone. But, the dog has long abandoned its post and in its place we have a cacophonous group of hyenas laughing hysterically at their pathetic performance – welcome to the current world of RJs who have laid a seige on the FM Waves and quite efficiently killed the aesthetic value of this companion of rainy nights.

I do reckon that off late the amount of posts blaring out my rants have been on the increase! Call it my 3-decade crisis or hormones acting up or a I-wanna-bitch-coz-am-one attitude! Anyhoo… I do wanna say that they are rather justified.  Ask ma granny who should be turning in her grave for the sort of “RJing” that is on air these days.  Not that she was an RJ! Hell no! But she always had a word or two for how one should talk, especially when they are heard by others. Sane lady she! I wish I listened to her!

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Crap on Air

So coming to the point.  Relish this.  (Names have been intentionally omitted.  Its a disgust to even be calling them out here! Tune in and torture yourself!)
2 RJs conducting the early morning show on the “Big FM” 92.7:  They announce the news of Shilpa Shetty being pregnant as though that were the final solution to the burning crisis around. And the girl goes “Hmmmmm….I wonder who the father is! Akshay kumar may probably be wondering as to why there was such a delay though he was finished with her decades ago!!”  Forget the fact that this particular RJ has an adjective of being spontaneous! Well, it sure goes to prove that there isn’t enough blood to cater to both the brain and the tongue!  The fact that such a crass and rude comment can be made about anyone itself is disgusting let alone the fact that it was made on a woman by a woman!  So much for fairness!
When Anna hazare announced his resolution to go on Fasting again, this same species of feminine doofusbrainicus commented that he was probably trying to lose his weight to go on a date with a beautiful “chick” and hence found a pretext to fast.  Ofcourse it was with the footnote that the comment was only a joke and she had grave sympathy for the cause he was fighting for!
Being on air, and interacting virtually with the masses, cliche as it may sound is a rather challenging and yet, one of the most fulfilling jobs.  Given the fact that words spoken, be it a stranger or someone close, has the power to touch any listener’s heart and soul, one can only imagine the excruciatingly tortuous pain one is put through by the barrage of non-stop crap that is blurted out by most RJs on air.

The large number of FM channels has only added to the melee.  And the obvious repercussion of this, is the fact that there is an absolute dearth for originality on the shows.  Take for instance the pain-in-ass show of calling up random numbers and tormenting the person using ridiculous issues or scaring the hell out of ’em or irritating them.  This show has become so ubiquitous on not only the radio but TV channels too that one wonders why none of these hosts have been blasted off yet!  The mockery they make of themselves is only augmented by the painfully forced laughter that is generated in the background, pleading for the listener to respond similarly.  A visible hint to let the listener know that it was a joke! Pathetic albeit!

Added to this pot pourri of jokers are the fillers that are thrown inbetween the programs.  These fillers are usually riddled with disgusting name calling, loud & cacophonous derogatory remarks and jokes lifted from some god-forsaken-1000-silly-jokes book (which if I may mention have also inspired several bollywood movies off late!).  Thankfully kannada film industry has had a refreshing wave of wonderful lyricists and musicians that have enormously contributed to tolerating the otherwise disgusting performance rendered by most of the RJs on air.

I would be doing a grave injustice if I were to blanket all the RJs under this cover.  There are a few of them so refreshingly funny, and creative, that listening to them is a pleasure one would wanna relive through out the day.  Alas! Their numbers are few and they are far and inbetween these hyenas of the Air jungle.  There is no dearth for the variety of programs that can be offered on air, nor are there any dearth for songs in the 5 decades that kannada film industry has spawned.  Genres of music are available ranging from devotional to techno – light music to kannada pop music.  The only dearth faced is for creative showmen (ladies included) who can concoct a delectable dish of music and serve it with a smile.

I value words.  Maybe I take humor seriously too!  It is indeed a simple matter to turn off the radio, and immerse oneself in a book or just gaze at the life unfolding all around while traveling.  In the grand scheme of things, one disgruntled listener isn’t even a speck of concern given the millions of listeners who may otherwise tune in or put up with what they are fed through ears.  But the fact remains that the crowd of RJs on air have snatched from me a wonderful companion I had since a few years now.  And it is a crime that I refuse to excuse them from.  But then they are so busy blabbering, they have no time to listen! 😉

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