My Grouse on Weight Loss!

I am shooore that many of my friends who have seen me, would agree that I have no need whatsoever to workout! But then, my mom has quite a different perspective on my physical structurization. Alas! She is my mom and a damn adamant one at that! So when she gave me an ultimatum on Sunday that I either shed those extra pounds showing around me, faster than Udita Goswami can shed her clothes, or else, let her find a girl for me, I was left with no choice! Now now.. not that my mother wouldn’t have chosen a girl good enough for me, but then, I would’ve lost the simple pleasures of seeking! So having settled that, I chose to go with the devil and even coaxed a friend of mine to be my accomplice in this ritualistic sacrifice of the triglicerides in the body!
On an auspicious moment of the Monday evening, me and my friend embarked on the arduous journey to the altar of body building! Now, I am not the one who generally takes to think low of my esteemed self! And my initial impression of the one’s working out there didn’t seem to do any harm either! Those wretched souls with their thin lean bodies looked utterly famished, and produced in me a sniggering much as erst while villains like Vajramuni/Pran sported! My well fed body knew what it was in for, and slightly shivered at the thought of becoming one of those leanies! It shuddered even as I held the handle of the peddler! Not to be undone, I set the program up, and started to peddle! My muscles let out a shriek “Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin……… keh do ki yeh jhoooT hai…. aisa nahin ho sakta… choD do mujhe.. kameene.. tere paas aur koi body vody nahin hai kyaa…” but I peddled on.. and on.. till the shrieks turned to silent sniffs.. and then there was silence. Oh! Curse my villainy!!
Now! what in heaven’s name is wrong in being, well a little chubby in all the cute places!! I am sure girls would love to pull my cheeks and maybe rest on my soft tummy! But no! that is not to be done!! Well after burning a 100 calories on the peddler, I went over to the circuit room. Now herein, they have arranged a whole array of machines chosen exclusively to work every part of your body! And what more! they even have an automated system that tells you when to start, and when to stop and move to the next station! Kewl eh? Ah! but the drama was yeddo stard! For there was this immense gargantuan specimen of homo sapien species working out over there! On the weight lifting stations, this King of a Kong, had set the weighs to 200 lbs!! thatz even more than my body weight and the scales that I can lift combined!! Now, having been well aware of my immense physical abilities and not willing to give him a complex, I decided to reduce the weight to the minimum.. and set it to hehehehehe 30 lbs! All was going on well, till that species decided to go over the stations once again, and as he approached the station that I had worked on, his eyes nearly popped out of his thick skull! He looked at me, as if looking at the most poor and wretched creature that one may find in the remote corner of the kitchen cabinet! It’s a feeling that says.. “Oh! you poor thing! look at you! I can crush you like a piece of overcooked potato but then, whatz the fun in that!” and then u sweep it up and trash it out!! Albeit here he obviously couldn’t trash me out, and so gave his “you despicable creature” look and set the weights back to his capacity! And I! much relieved at the end of it all, rushed home, and complimented myself by eating a vanilla chocolate ice cream that incidentally had 136 calories in it! Amen to that!

8 comments

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    • Manjesh on February 23, 2006 at 5:47 PM

    lol… ishtella hungaama maaDobadalu araamagi maneyalli kuLitu ondu 36 cal iro BRU Filter kaapi kuDibahuditta 😛

    • Praveen on February 23, 2006 at 6:46 PM

    *cheeks going pinkish red* adu nin thara figure idre aagutte! nan figure ge hehehe.. 136 calories kUDa kammi nE 😉 *psst *psst.. not to mention.. allige barO heMgeLeyaru hEgirtaare gottalla 😉

    • deepakjeswal on February 25, 2006 at 2:01 AM

    Ha ha , i started gym once , and hv seen such ‘creatures’ doing the weights…uff! The only good part in that gym was they played songs of Dil Se and it was fun peddling to ‘chhaiya chhaiya’ and ‘jiya jale’ (yeah my gym sojourn was *that* old)!

    Used to go early morning…and then fog descended on Delhi, and with that clouded my efforts as well :-))

    • deepakjeswal on February 25, 2006 at 2:06 AM

    ROFL @ ‘Hum Pyar Karne Waale Hain’ post – i hv seen Prem Aggan, Yaadein , Prem and Albela – of them, I quite enjoyed Prem. But the rest , ha ha ha … and more ha ha ha @ Sanjay Kapoor’s comment. Man, that guy is really b-a-a-d

    • Praveen on February 26, 2006 at 7:21 AM

    @DJ.. well so far even my take on gyms have been seasonal.. every spring I start out and wane on it as the winter fall dawns.. hopefully this time I’ll sing a different tune!
    abt. the other romantic losers.. I’d say Sanjay Kapoor does top them any day! I mean.. I find it so utterly repulsive, I’d say hez a huge manufacturing defect!

    • Parth on February 28, 2006 at 12:56 AM

    It is tough to convince people that you are always in shape. Round IS a shape 🙂 All the best

    • Chandan on March 9, 2006 at 7:02 AM

    Your Mom would be delighted to meet me. People used to call me walking skeleton.My Mom’s insisting me to exercise and eat home food to gain some muscels. I wonder what happens to cheese pizzas and burgers which I eat every weekend. Not to forget “Death by Chocolate” ice cream at corner house.

    • Praveen on March 9, 2006 at 7:15 PM

    @Chandan: Magane!! uristideeya!!! Ce! Now i know to never take u to my house! But incidentally u know, when I was in India, I was so darn thin! It’s only after I came here that I kinda filled up a lot in all the rite places.. now tryin’ to just chip off the unwanted… and doing good too 😀

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