I was not so sure of myself! Can I do it? Must I do it? I was not so sure! You know.. it isn’t the same thing as Himanshu acting! He just doesn’t care if its acting or not! He just does it! On the other hand if only I was as deft as Mallika or Meghana in strippin’! But I am not a pro in what I am about to do!
You know.. it had been quite a while, since I had done it! I still remember the first time that I did it.. I was young! I was confused! It was an instinct, and it just happened! I did not intend to do so! I was surprised at what came out!! I looked at it in awe and wonder! It felt good! Initially I had to look at something when doing it! But later on, with seasonin’, I had started to imagine and do it! And I did a pretty good job on it too! It felt good even more! I had started to improve!
But before long, the increasing work, studies, and stress had reduced the frequency of it. I still used to take sometime off and do it. It was very relaxing, and refreshing! But all this was in the past! Yeah! It has been a long time since I did it! And now, I wanted to do it again! Self-doubt plagued me. I resolved to do it no matter what! Maybe I will fail, maybe the result would not be what I wanted it to be! But one had to take the chance! I had abstained from it for a long time. It was now time to break the circle.
I looked at it – long, and lying limp! I said to it – You have got a job dude! And you better get up and get it done! I held it in my hand! I could feel the coldness. I shuddered. Must I do it still? My mind was racing…. there was no turning back now! The question was, must I imagine or must I see something? I did not want to take any chances… I decided on the latter. I did not want to strain my brain a lot, it already had a lot of work to do, in co-ordinating my hands!! But the travails did not end there! I had to choose what to see! Something that is stimulating to the eyes and pleasant! I searched! I went online looking for it! Wonder of Wonders, I found it in an email attachment! It was with me all the while?!!!! The time had finally come! I was all set to do it!
I started slowly, my hands quivering, even as I held it! Like a swimmer testing the water before getting into it, I slowly moved my hands. There were light strokes coming up! I continued for sometime. Things started shaping up, and it started to make sense. I could not stop it now. I had to do it. I was at it, and I did not have any more doubts in my mind! I could do it! yes! I can! I am doing it! I was exhilarated! I could not believe my eyes! I had not lost the touch!! Yes!!!!! It was complete!!! I heaved a huge sigh of relief, and wiped the sweat off my brow! I looked at it, and felt immense satisfaction rushing into my being! It is done! I got up, and cracked my fingers! They were relieved too! yes! It had been a long time. I resolved that I will do it more regularly! I went to sleep. It was a peaceful sleep that I slept last nite!
P.S :- Sooooooooooooooooooo…. all those of you, who are wonderin’ what it is all about! Keep reading this column, for an update! Till then, happy guessing!!!

1 comment

    • Sri on January 27, 2006 at 8:54 PM
    • Reply

    So were you painting something Praveen ?



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