Don’t you sometimes wish for life to be a lot simpler than it is ?! Or is it that we tend to complicate matters than they could have been! I do wish I had a better understanding of all this! Even more so, a better understanding of myself! It really helps a lot to either be absolutely knowledgeable or a complete ignorant! Somehow this business of somewhere in between isn’t what I am carved out for!
Consider the situation when you have to make choices! And these choices are what carve out a niche in your life! No, it is not as simple as choosing what movie of SRK to watch – Ashoka or K3G ?! Both are equally exasperating on the nerves. And you know for sure, that before long you will be running away from it as if you caught Shakti Kapoor with his pants down!!
No, this isn’t about it at all! These are choices that are related to the precious things in life! The one’s that are essential for your happiness and also the family that relies on you! The Duality literally splits one apart and the pain is excruciating! Indecision, consequences, risks – all take a toll on the mind, and before long, I will find me slouching on the couch, like a sloth, drooling all over, my hair all pointy like a porcupine, with bowls of icecream in front of me, watching reruns of Kattegalu saar Kattegalu, and suddenly developing a sense of liking to Ekta Kapoor’s soaps!!
These are the times, I miss so many people! People with whom I probably could have confided my confusions and fears, with whom I might have spoken my concerns freely! I so much wish I would be a child again!
Even as I am lying on the bed typing this, my heart wishes that, I go to sleep now, and when I get up in the morning, everything would have been resolved! Yet! I know its only a wish! Have I stifled myself so much that I can’t even plunge to take a risk, or is it that I value ethics, quite enough to restrain me from getting lured into matters, I later may regret? Yet again, today, my mind is full of questions. Just questions. And there is the wish.. of becoming a child again.. or maybe this is what growing up is all about! My eyes are getting drowzy…..